Sometimes a Babarazzi reader sends us a video so “good” we literally have to throw our undies in the wash due to all the sexual fluids pouring out of our collective genitals. The following video is one of those kinds of finds. Check it:
OMG. Where. To. Begin?!
It’s so hard, ’cause every excruciating nanosecond of this video makes me want to invent a time machine and go back and find a dinosaur to eviscerate my innards with its lizardy claws. I swear. If I pause this video at any frame I feel like I’ve just committed seppuku on my eyeballs.
One of the biggest annoyances is how character-based this whole facade is. When looked at from the perspective of selling shit, watching this video is like watching an episode of The Real World with all its “unique characters.” There’s Raghu the elder. Dana the nut job. Nardini the “rockstar.” Regelin the stick in the mud. And, Faith Hunter the…? Hmmm….
But, let’s look at the video itself.
At minute 00:09 everyone is ready to have some fun, and so they all start prancing around like a bunch of deranged Smurfs. All the while David Regelin tries to smile without having his face crack in half.
At minute 00:12 they all start doing some cool yoga moves that totally gets the place pumping. Regelin looks serious. Raghu looks like he’s about to ask me for some change on the subway.
At minute 00:24 Sadie makes sure everyone within a million block radius knows that she’s trying to be this weird thing called a “rockstar,” and then does this thing with her fingers and tongue which is meant to suggest that, yes, she is in fact a “rockstar.”
Then at min 00:31 Dana somehow morphs into Joan Rivers…
…who’s none too happy about that….
Then at min 00:38 everyone puts on these way cool matching purple tank-tops, while David Regelin keeps his smile buried deep down into his yoga shorts. Which is strange, ’cause, like, they’re all wearing matching purple shirts.
But, then Dana livens up the scene like it’s a 1989 rave in the LES, and at minute 00:59 totally gets free and flows into her own bliss with some exceptional yoga dance moves.
At minute 01:10 Raghu talks about some cool stuff about getting older, but some of us miss it ’cause we’re so blinded by the fact that he’s wearing a blanket…
…or just happen to be really into A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada….
Plus it looks baller as hellz.
At minute 01:57 Sadie totally wants us to know that this tour will not be made up of “the same old teachers,” who, I am guessing, are to be immediately replaced by this newer version of the same old teachers.
Then at the end everyone decides to have a super cute cuddle puddle, which we can only imagine makes David Regelin want to jump out of his skin, because, unless I’m mistaken, he is once again not smiling.
Nope. Here’s the homepage image on the website:
Since branding is all about shoving signs and signifiers as far down your grill as possible, we have the same story told once again, only this time Mr. Regelin has been placed in the center, becoming a veritable axis mundi around which space garbage must forever rotate in all its cosmic majesty. He’s also not smiling again.
And, then there’s Ragunath (AKA Ray “of Today” Cappo) who’s jump-kickin’ like it’s f’ing City Gardens in 1986….
Which is not necessarily a bad thing.
And, then there’s all the rest jumping to and fro and hither and thither convincing me that the real success of this YogaNation thing is that they were able to dissolve all of yoga into a finely ground white powder and snort it up their nose.
Oh, and did I mention that everyone, with the exception of David Regelin, is hooked up with Yama Talent? That’s interesting.
Thanks to one of our readers for forwarding this along!