Punk
Way back in February we put up an article making fun of a year-old NYT profile on YAMA Talent and yogilebrity agents, asking whether or not such commercial entities were more dangerous to yoga in America than John Friend’s penis. This made a bunch of people angry, eventually got us kicked off Elephant Journal (at the behest of Leslie Kaminoff), and prompted some perpetual verbal ass-pinching between us and some of those involved.
Fast-forward to the middle of April when It’sAllYogaBaby started unpacking Nardini’s overtly un-fat-friendly Facebook ads. This was followed by posts from us and YogaDork, and created such a stink that Nardini eventually changed the ads, claiming to have never known about the language therein, despite having previously promoted, published, and sold products all containing virtually identical ad copy.
Three months later, when everyone had moved onto free giveaways, Nardini, in a brilliant any-publicity-is-good-publicity move, resurrected the debate with an article a piece of advertising on Elephant Journal asking, “What’s the big deal about yoga and weight loss?”
Then, Carol Horton wrote her rebuttal, we “wrote” ours, and here we are again, reliving Game of Thrones-lite.
Marital bliss
So, where are we now? Well, right now on Elephant Journal there is an article titled “10 Things You Never Knew About Sadie Nardini” by ex-Nardini business associate and “Punk Rock Yoga” instructor, Brian Williams (who has another less-numerical version of the piece on his own site) that lists ten reasons why Sadie Nardini is awesome. The list consists of such unique qualities as:
- Being nice
- Being a good friend
- Being interested in stuff
- Being funny
- Being quiet
- Being able to cook a meal
- Being well-read
- Being able to take a joke
Basically, qualities you’d hope any person worth shaking hands with would possess.
I have to admit, when I read this list, I realized how crazy it was that I wasn’t taking every last dollar I had and throwing it at the feet of such an esteemed patron of the Awesome Human Society, which apparently needs a helping hand. Like, if you stop and think about it, things have got to be pretty “interesting” around Camp Nardini if people start popping out of the wood work throwing around cutesy drivel fit only for moms to send to their neighbors via Hotmail when their sons graduate from medical school or get released from prison.
Anyway, the real meat of the piece, the part that sums up the entire yogilebrity scene into one perfect little saffron-colored bow, is the very “punk rock” ending where Brian says in no uncertain terms that if you disagree with him, you are simply wrong or a liar:
“[Sadie] is fan-fucking-tastic. She’s knowledgable [sic]. Her teaching is valid and consistent with yoga philosophy. She’s a real friend. She is loyal. And she walks the walk. Anyone who says differently doesn’t know her, or they are lying.” [emphasis mine]
Wow! Did we miss the memo or something? Did the vast universe of disagreement and discourse—the very foundation of informed critique—somehow magically turn into a six-year-old’s birthday party meltdown? Classic punk rock move!
Apparently, this is what happens when Gibson Guitars publicly endorses you.
I guess Crass was right:
Well, never ones to be outdone, in response to Williams’ list of back rub strokes we The Babarazzi came up with a quick list of ten things you probably never knew were true about my old friend “Right Hand.” It’s been so beaten up lately, we thought it needed a lil’ pick-me-up.
10 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT MY RIGHT HAND
1. It holds pens and pencils
2. It sometimes makes a “thumbs up” gesture
3. It has an insatiable love affair with my genitals
4. It can often be seen waving “hello” or “good-bye” to people
5. It sometimes gets cramped (see #3)
6. It loves the feeling of a butt amongst its fleshy folds
7. It doesn’t mind spanking said butt
8. It can be “read” by a qualified practitioner of the palmistry arts
9. It opens jars you can’t open
10. It scratches a mean itch
Good luck and Godspeed (You Black Emperor)….
____________________
Thanks to one of our readers for bringing this to our attention.
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The Babarazzi 
Bahahaha, my right hand likes to do pretty much the same thing, maybe they should date.
My hand is only interested in no-strings-attached “adult play.” If down, it down.
Hey, what about some Lefty love?!?
What are you a communist?
Maybe left hands should get an agent to raise their profile, so they can go back to doing what they do best: (see list of things right hands do above)
I have no idea who Brian Williams is, but he sure doesn’t sound like a punk rocker.
Maybe we should all take a page out of your right hand’s book. I can’t remember the last I wrote my hand who has meant so much to me to say exactly how I feel, critics be damned. I can’t remember the last time I told my hand how much it has helped me, instead of picking on it for leaving the toothpaste cap off AGAIN, or not being attentive enough to my genitals when I come home from a long day at work.
BRILLIANT. yes, my right pinky toe hasn’t gotten the credit it deserves. it take the brunt of the crud from the dirty NYC streets, it let’s itself be smashed into my sexy shoes (and even plenty of ugly shoes), it does the final balance act in many an asana, it reaches forward like a champ to counteract my heel bone supinating, its even been known to rock a pinky toe ring on occasion. all the while it does its great work, never complains, never gets credit, and is a loyal friend. someone please give my pinky toe the respect it deserves!
Maybe my right hand just doesn’t want to learn how to fingertip-dance. Just sayin’ .. but I heart my right hand anyway.
You know what my right hand does? It picks up my fork and food so I can eat. I don’t have to mash my face into my plate and slurp up the food because my right hand is awesome. The best! Can you believe how great my hand is? …..does everyone’s hand do that?
Where’s Iggy Pop when you need him? I’m sure if Joe Strummer was still with us, he’d probably choke over Brian’s use of “punk rock” yoga.
Ambidextrous.
you got “kicked out” of the elephant jornal cause you are anonymous, they love controversy, your just too ignorent to be accountable for your stoops- midtown stoop right, yea, midtown
Hey! You’re back! So nice to see you! Feel free to check out our pieces on and open letters to Leslie K., Douglas B., John F., and a dozen or so male gurus. We just go with what we come across and whoever’s coming out with it.
the word is spelled ignorant
there’s a picture somewhere out there that i couldn’t find of penny rimbaud teaching a yoga class on the crass dial house lawn. punk isn’t dead, he just teaches yoga now!
Which is of course *very* yoga!
Would love to see that pic….