The other day while mounted upon the Throne of Elimination I happened upon an article in the October 2012 edition of Whole Living (don’t ask) featuring none other than Elena Brower. I was admittedly a little surprised to see Elena between the fem-fleshy folds of this non-yoga pub, but should have assumed nothing of it, seeing as Elena has become an omnipresent aura of white Truthful light defusing its satiny rays as far as ye eye can squint. Also, Whole Living is basically Yoga Journal without all the pictures of people stretching, so it’s kinda obvious.
Aaaaaaaaanyway, long story short. The blurb is part of a larger feature called “That Was Then, This is Now” and showcases a number of minor faces from a number of minor scenes who have kicked old habits. And, wouldn’t you know it? Elena’s piece was all about her coming out as having been a smoker.
“But while she talked (and looked) a good mind-body health game, Brower was harboring a secret: She was still, as she had been for 25 years, a ‘casual smoker.’ Sometimes it was half a pack a day, sometimes it was none, so Brower thought, Why bother quitting? Finally, in 2010, she met with a life coach, who helped her kick it for good.”
That’s right, my sweet sweet lil’ munchkins. Up until 2010, the yoga world’s most prestigious reflection of all that is truthful and sane has been sneaking a sneaky almost-certain-death smoke now and again, having kicked the habit only after her life coach pulled the “child card.”
“Finally, in 2010, she met with a life coach, who helped her kick it for good. ‘When Jonah is fifteen,’ the coach asked, referring to Brower’s then- 6-year-old son, ‘how many cigarettes would you like him to be smoking a week? That’s how many you can smoke’.”
Answer: Goose egg. None. Zilch. Enzo.
Now, we don’t care that Elena used to smoke. We don’t really care if Elena decides to smoke again. Hell, some of our most favorite people live to smoke and smoke to live. As you may have caught, however, the article makes reference to Elena “harboring a secret” about the filthy disgusting stupid habit. Of course, it’s impossible to tell whether or not those were Elena’s actual words, but if there’s some truth to it—if Elena was actually afraid to tell people—I wonder where that fear would come from? Fear of studentary rebuffs? Fear of having to “speak truth” before truth hath doth passed? Could it have been a branding issue? Nothing says “yoga mom” like a delicious healthy drag off a Virginia Slim.
Anyway, you can chock this whole “coming out of the closet about smoking” thing to Elena’s mission to make the entire yoga “community” her stand-in for psuedo-AA-make-amends-to-those-in-the-past “Truth” mission thing.
All the same, good on her! Smoking is annoying. You don’t need an f’ing life coach to tell you that.