It’s dog-eat-dog out there on the streets. And, if you’re into the yoga, it’s even more brutal. Fear not. We can help.
Yoga mats are heavy, clunky, and, when carried about the city, are always in danger of knocking into my jock. So, please keep that shit bagged and tagged. Also, going to yoga should never be a smiling affair. You should be miserable, half-asleep, and mentally chastising yourself as to why you’re doing such a silly thing at such a silly hour. Go back to bed and tell your friend that the Bhagavad Gita is against Instagraming first thing in the morning.
It’s 10:15 on a Saturday morning. You’ve just finished your discounted first-timer week at your local Kundalini Yoga as Taught By Yogi Bhajan studio. You were so high on controlled hyperventilation that you paid for a lifetime membership, and have been granted a space for your yoga mat in the Great Wall of Unlimited Monthlies. Now you’ve got a free hand, and another that’s already filled with a delicious skinny soy latte. Look at you. This day is just getting started and you’re already on top of the world. One friendly line of coke won’t kill ya.
Be sure to check out our weekly yoga culture DOs and DON’Ts every Wednesday!!!
With a humble nod to VICE.