As I’m sure is the case for you, whenever I need some tips on how to better my home, the first place I check is Yoga Journal. Whether it’s figuring out how to make my altar speak more “abundance,” knowing which rose gold thumb rings would best fit my twiddling thumbs, or figuring out how to better arrange all my yoga tights in my walk-in closet, nothing says happiness like a home filled with over-priced simplicity. And, so it goes with this little one-pager in the February 2013 issue:
And, in case it’s a bit hard to read, you will specifically need:
So, basically, in order to eat healthy and not have that healthy taste like shit from a dog who ate sand all day you’re gonna need to shell out roughly $800 on the amount of items that make sense, most of which you really would never “need,” per se.
I mean, really. It’s statements like the above that make YJ just so darned write-off-able. And, don’t get me wrong, I think the Vitamix is one of the best things to come out of post-industrialized society, even though it probably makes us weaker, and ironically less industrious humans. But, I definitely have enough of a comprehensive world view to know that it certainly ain’t a necessity. Seriously, if someone asked you what things were needed for a healthy and delicious new year, would the first thing that came to mind be a $40 bamboo bowl? And, who buys one bamboo bowl? No self-respecting yoga mom is gonna go for that. You need at least four, and if you ever wanna invite more than two people over, you’ll need six!
And, as for the kombucha “kit” for seventy dollar bills? Shit, if you can’t find someone in your neighborhood who’s got a zillion kombucha mothers invading their kitchen, just look online. Someone is out there right now dying to send you a mother for free before it takes over your lease!
Personally, I find it strange to think that some people are still convinced that YJ is a magazine for people with less than disposable incomes. Of course, every class of people needs a magazine to tell them how to better be in their class, but this one ain’t for the “simpler” class, that’s for dang sure.
This brings to mind that ridiculously problematic argument, usually coming from well-heeled yoga people, that states that investing a lot of money in expensive health food items now will ultimately benefit you in the long run as you’ll apparently require fewer health bills. As a retort I point you to the article “The Cost Of Food In America, Or, Hatin’ On Broke Ghetto Fatties” found on the very “Holy shit, this is amazing” website, Mythodrome: Stories at the Twilight of Empire. As a tease:
“Here in the ghetto, me and the other broke ghetto fatties who think about these things consciously and deliberately buy as many calories as we can get for our dollars, because we don’t always know when we will be able to buy more calories. When there’s no guarantee that anymore calories will be forthcoming in the future, a candy bar will always be a better value for $1.50 than a couple apples — assuming that a couple apples can be had without a $5 bus ride.”
Mythodrome’s article will no doubt infuriate a lot of people. And, that’s perfectly OK. In my opinion, feelings are often best observed before being expressed. With regards to the above article my advice would be to stick with those feelings for a while before spewing your responses. Let them percolate. Investigate where they come from. And, then remember: sometimes it’s best to just listen and reflect.
Except when commenting on this site. This is a “No Reflection Zone.” So, let’s hear what you gotta get off those hairy sweaty pancake-breasted chests.