…or some kid marking her turf with the sickest hopscotch throw-down you ever did see….
Sometimes you just gotta get out there and lay down what’s good.
Calling all Babarazzi!
The warm weather is quickly approaching, and that means yogilebrities are gonna be out in full force celebrifying every yoga conference under the summery sun. What. A. Bummer!
So, in line with our desire to separate out and untangle celebriyogi commercial culture from the greater fabric of our beautiful tried-and-true yogic tradition(s), we are wetting your whistles with some serious prank foolery that will hopefully turn that summer bummer frown upside-down.
See, everyone knows that yoga conferences and festivals that feature and promote yogilebrity culture are insulting and in dire need of some colorful language, something bubbly that can offer an alternative to the narrative being shoveled down our throats by yogilebrities the world over.
Wouldn’t it be great to walk passed a yoga festival tent with a sign outside that read, “POOH POOH ON YOGA BLEACHING,” while a bunch of yogilebrities verbally wanked each other off on stage??? Wouldn’t that be a crap ton of giddy poetry?!
To that end, we are suggesting people break out some of that rainbow-colored chalk (pastels, if that’s your jam) and start beautifying this place with your anti-yogilebrity artistry!
Let the sidewalks be your canvas!
Below you will find suggestions for anti-slogans that would make pleasant chalked additions to any celebri-sidewalk. Please feel free to use these, or write your own (WARNING: CURSING ABOUNDS):
1. YOGIS AGAINST HEADSET MICROPHONES UNITE!!!
2. YUPPIES AND YOGA 4 EVA LOL ROTFLMAO
3. KALI HAS ACTUAL CONVERSATIONS WITH ME
4. BANDHAS ARE REAL. YOU SHOULD TRY THEM
5. SELF-PROCLAIMED “YOGIS” ARE BORING ME TO DEATH!!!
6. TEACHER TRAININGS NEED MORE TEACHERS
7. MY OPEN HEART IS NOT A COMMODITY
8. ALLOW YR INNER CELEBRIYOGI TO PLAY IN TRAFFIC
9. FUCK ROCK STAR YOGA. BE A PUNK!
10. YOGA IS NOT YR FUCK BUDDY EVEN THOUGH FUCK BUDDIES ARE AWESOME
…which could (should) easily be translated to read,
“IN A COMMERCIAL YOGA CULTURE THAT HAS ABOLISHED ALL AUTHENTICITY, THE ONLY AUTHENTICITY LEFT IS TO ABOLISH THAT COMMERCIAL YOGA CULTURE”