Thanks to one of our readers for sending this our way.
Advocate of the foam yoga
block egg, Janet Stone has just released (May 5) a brand spankin’ new iPhone app called “Yoga with Janet Stone.” Janet hooked up with lolo(fit), a group that makes very very very slick looking workout apps, to make the widgetmajig, and early reports say the lil’ bugger is all sorts of HUGE.
So how does it work?
Well, according to the marketing, Janet will “guide you through a vigorous-yet-sumptuous approach to Vinyasa yoga.” She will also somehow magically “be with you every step of the way,” while guiding you through “over 100 flows” [their words, though emphasis mine].
But, straight up! This tchotchke is jam pizzacked with ka-razy features:
- Over 3 and a half hours of beautiful video to guide your form.
- Over 5 hours of audio instructions.
- Nearly 2 and a half hours of yoga music provides the perfect atmosphere for your practice.
- 13 five-minute meditations to help you find your center, relax and focus.
- Over 100 yoga flows. [ed. there’s that word again!]
- Practices designed for beginner, intermediate or advanced users.
- 6 programs that change every day.
- 4 programs that progress in difficulty each day.
- Practice Builder: Create your perfect practice.
- Track and share your results with your friends.
Bet your little bitch-ass in-the-flesh yoga instructor can’t do all that with a tap of the ol’ finger!
I also bet your swami-ji didn’t tell you about the hot new yoga asana [pic’d above] called “Enlightened Warrior,” which comes right on the heels of “Peaceful Warrior,” “Happy Warrior,” “Apathetic Warrior,” “Kinda Over It Warrior,” “It’s Not You It’s Me Warrior,” and the ever-popular “Do You Like it When I Touch You There Warrior.”
I also also bet your sorry ass guru doesn’t let you practice in the sexiest windows-from-floor-to-cathedral-ceiling loft apartment either.
You know the kind I’m talking about. The one that with just a touch of back-lit fabric and the right “cocktails” doubles as a super-expensive bi-curious poly-play sex party “space.”
Damn! Why don’t I just get one of these smarter-than-you phones already?