Silly Statements By Kelly Morris /// John Friend Is An Emperor Sans Clothes /// But We At Babarazzi Still Love Our Teachers!

Phew. After two weeks of posting about contemporary yoga culture, we simply had to shower off. Stuff is stinky. And, tiring!

So let’s see… where were we?

Oh, right! So, John Friend had to step down from the Anusara empire or go into hiding or enroll in a YogaDance workshop at Kripalu (or something like that). Then there was the so-called yoga community showing its best colors with basically crucifying the guy because they either A. wish they were him, or B. wish they could have slept with him. And then(!) there was one of our humble representatives challenging the silliness of Kelly Morris’ claim that teachers should NEVER hook up with their students, and then getting banned from her facebook page. I mean, her teachers, Lama Christie McNally and Geshe Michael Roach, are examples of teachers hooking up with their students! And, we didn’T even geT a chance To explore a Tip That she daTed one of her sTudenTs Too! I mean, There’s only so much you can cover in a single day.

Anyway, the basic gist of Morris’ thesis was (from her FB profile):

  1. Making out with your teacher is gross.
    KM: “No offense, but who in the world would ever voluntarily have actual sex with JF? Are you kidding me? Nastytown.”
    (See, we always thought having to scrape the brains out of your newly found skull cup for aghori left-hand rituals was nastytown. But I guess consensual sexual relations between adults is gross too. You know, to each their own….)
  2. Teachers should NEVER hook up with their students.
    KM: “Teachers should NEVER screw students. To do so is to take advantage of a searching soul in the most appalling, nauseating way.”
    (See we thought adult women were smart enough to make their own decisions, or at the very least didn’t presume that they were emotional invalids… But we’re just weird like that.)
  3. The entirety of Buddhist and shamanic lineages should be held accountable.
    KM: “It is an abuse of power/position/trust in my opinion, both in the Tibetan Buddhist lineage I am a part of, in the Hindu lineage I am a part of, in the shamanic lineage I am a part of…”
    (Puh-leeeeeeze)

You know, the first two I can deal with. They’re just ridiculous baby-bathwater stuff that’s limited in scope and parochial, and since so many peeps are in fact ridiculous, limited, and parochial we can let it slide. But the last one….

I mean, is Kelly Morris…

…really in a position to make claims as to what thousands-year-old traditions should or should not do? I mean, this crazy dude cares about what Kelly Morris says, right?….

And, these bros just chillin’ (wondering if they too can get that yoga six-pack)…

And, this celebratory lad (staying up at night wondering if that bi-level rental in Chelsea will be his tomorrow!)…

And this old mama…(dying to find out who does Morris’ hair and if the rest is the work of an ancient Botox remedy)

And this saucy sailor (thinking to himself: “Where can I get some basics from American Apparel around here?”)…

And these chaps up to no good (but pondering whether or not facebook will help boost enrollment in their new teacher training program)…

And this dandy fancy pants (just trying to figure out what Buddhist teacher to line up with. “There are just so many!”)….

Right? Of course Morris’ pleasant perch is ideal for dictating the limits of age-old tradition!

Eh, but who are we to judge? Everyone knows that prematurely limiting the scope of what’s possible in radical thousands-years-old tantric/shamanic traditions is what liberates a person. Especially, when those limits are imposed by yet another white expert. Who cares that these traditions have the ability to completely unravel the very strand of your false being.

Ugh… big mouths go home!

6 comments

  1. Michael

    hmm, a thought: while I understand the potential value of a discussion on the abuse of trust, I never understood the bigotry of so many yoga teachers and teacheresses (I am a guy, so Siva, Kelly and some of the Jivamukti bunch come to mind) who post photos of themselves, nothing short of what you would find on a the cover of cheap sex magazines or pinup posters, while at the same time lecturing us on the values of abstinence and control (in general) and especially with the teacher / student relationship.
    I won’t go into the fact that many of these yogis and yoginis who teach us the jamas and nijamas have their own clothing brands and trademarked and copyrighted their own – lol – style of yoga to deah.
    seriously… you make me sad!
    Have a look at a Sivananda Ashram: long sleves, long legs, no shaggin even if you are a married couple while on site please, and it is largely donation based…
    Not saying this is the only way, and yes Kelly, I like looking at your boobs hanging out in Marichyasana D, but DO NOT LECTURE us.

  2. hotforteacher

    Ugh, I don’t understand what the big deal is. Yoga teachers are busy and kind of insular. How else are we supposed to meet anyone if we don’t date our students? I mean, I haven’t done as much… but that’s just because dudes in drawstring hemp pants just don’t get the amrita flowing for me.

  3. Linda-Sama

    who the hell is Kelly Morris?!?

  4. Ryan

    I’d have sex with Kelly Morris.

  5. CJ Potts

    Suddenly I’m craving a cheese sandwich with yellow mustard…it will be far more authentic than this trussed up job in hot pants. What an unenlightened egoist.

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