It’s dog-eat-dog out there on the streets. And, if you’re into the yoga, it’s even more brutal. Fear not. We can help.
YAMA (DON’T)
Yoga mats are heavy, clunky, and, when carried about the city, are always in danger of knocking into my jock. So, please keep that shit bagged and tagged. Also, going to yoga should never be a smiling affair. You should be miserable, half-asleep, and mentally chastising yourself as to why you’re doing such a silly thing at such a silly hour. Go back to bed and tell your friend that the Bhagavad Gita is against Instagraming first thing in the morning.
NIYAMA (DO)
It’s 10:15 on a Saturday morning. You’ve just finished your discounted first-timer week at your local Kundalini Yoga as Taught By Yogi Bhajan studio. You were so high on controlled hyperventilation that you paid for a lifetime membership, and have been granted a space for your yoga mat in the Great Wall of Unlimited Monthlies. Now you’ve got a free hand, and another that’s already filled with a delicious skinny soy latte. Look at you. This day is just getting started and you’re already on top of the world. One friendly line of coke won’t kill ya.
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Be sure to check out our weekly yoga culture DOs and DON’Ts every Wednesday!!!
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With a humble nod to VICE.
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The Babarazzi 
I rarely see anyone my age (or myself, for that matter) carrying yoga mats around. I also don’t see many instances of “yoga butt” on women around my age either and not much evidence of thong underwear …
I say, let the kids have one of the few status markers they’ve got left in this age of being overextended on their student loans, and maybe still living in the outer boroughs with the parents ….
Amphibi: You mean ‘status markers’ for ‘heavy, clunky’ junk like this? So, what have you got against todays kids for heavens sake? Black Magic: Manduka® All In A Spin Over Environmental Credentials: http://yogamanifesto.org/kitchen/black-magic-manduka …
In addition, gentrification agents (real estate agents) use what the kids do… it’s a better indicator of a neighborhood that is ripe for yuppie incursion or gentrification than the presence of a Starbucks is .. “Follow the yoga mats”
I call it like I see it …
JUMPING THE SHARK:
Coming Soon to a Cameltoe near YOU. Maha Garuda’s Legpit Bug Repellant/Deodorant. (don’t be that chick)
How come you freaks can’t get a yogalebrity to feel up your arms?
If Seane Corn doesn’t want to caress Baba, just look at is as a GOOD sign …
btw. I refuse to carry a yoga mat anywhere and I barf a little in my mat when I see people carrying them around LA. “LOOK AT ME! I DO YOGA!” If needed I will fold it up and hide it in a bag. I don’t want anyone making assumptions about what I might or might do with that rolled up friend.haha