[AD WATCH] If You Could Take Your Yoga Mat Everywhere, Perhaps Life Wouldn’t Be A Tremendous F-U To The Soul

For some people, yoga is simply a practice that facilitates a reestablishment of one’s own innate nature.

For others, yoga is the thing(s) they do in the wee hours of the morning to help unbind the nadi knots of the previous day.

For other people, yoga is the collection of practices and disciplines they do throughout their life aimed at polishing the mirror of the soul in order to better reflect God.

And yet, for others, yoga is apparently this weird thing people can never let go of because if they did the co-dependent relationship they’ve created between it and them spins out of control in a sea of endless Maya while life becomes an increasing distraction and overtakes their innocence to the point where all that they once believed to be good and right thunders down into their already bludgeoning mind trailed by feasting bed-sore-ridden demons gnashing their putrid teeth while scratching festering blood-stained anuses.

Thankfully, it never has to get to that.

Introducing the “Yoga Mat Sandal” by Sanuk. From the website:

Not enough time to hit the mats? You’ll feel like you haven’t missed a single pose in yoga class with this Sanuk favorite. And yes, they’re made out of real yoga mats.

  • Footbed Made From Real Yoga Mat!
  • Synthetic Leather with Printed Jersey Liner
  • Vegan and Vegetarian

Finally! Now you can pretend to do yoga even while you hunt for that perfect avocado in Whole Foods! I can hear it now:

You know, the one problem have with yoga is that I can’t do it wherever and whenever I want. I mean, WTF, right?! This is my life and I’m in the driver’s seat. I just feel like…I don’t know…like, if I want to walk around the farmer’s market and at the same time still feel like my feet are connected to my crumbling, stinky, bacteria-infested Jade yoga mat, than I should be able to do whatever I want, right? I mean, I paid for this stuff. I should be able to have it and do it however I want!

Well, now you can have it and do it whenever you want.

Seriously. Yoga Mat Sandals? Are you f’ing kidding me?! Are we that silly that we refuse to allow our yoga practice to rest? Come on, people…. Let. It Go. Just get up early, do your practice, and move on.

If you need help, start here. Pema (who probably wouldn’t like our site) lays it down in her characteristic straight-talk fashion:

6 comments

  1. Greenpoint

    “yoga is simply a practice that facilitates a reestablishment of one’s own innate nature”…
    that’s really it, simple as that…nicely put…

  2. Erica

    I actually Pema would love how you call out a lot of the bs.
    That being said I wonder if they can pair the sandal with one of
    John friends “energetically balanced” Manduka mats. This is the crap that
    Makes me embaressed to say I’m a yoga teacher… Well this and the yj talent search

  3. Pingback: The Trail of Crumbs | Serene Flavorful

  4. I actually don’t think it’s a bad recycling project. A lot of real yoga mats are really not biodegradable and really not recyclable (in the sense of sending it out with your recycle bin). So, if these folks have figured out how to make sandals out of manky old mats, then that’s pretty good.

    Question is, once I’ve worn through my manky-mat sandals, then do they recycle them again? I get manky-mat, manky-sandals sandals?

  5. Yoga_Muff Diver

    Jenifer, it could be worse. If your karma’s messed up, you could end up with shiny red pumps, and after clicking them together three times, you could find yourself back in Kansas SHIT OUT OF LUCK.

  6. Yoga_Muff Diver

    I really agree with Baba-Ganesh, though. You can create an icon, a false idol, out of anything, including your own spiritual practice. Very few yogis today acknowledge this. They think they have the addiction that resolves all addictions – rather than perhaps the mega addiction. I have spoken with Anusarans who were melting down after their John-Boy idol fell, and said, hey, good news, you can take a year off now and NOT practice yoga, and take in the world again. They freaked. Not practice yoga! I think most of them are practicing more obsessively, and less happily, than ever. I look to the Christian mystics for inspiration here, because they are very clear on the ways in which ego-attachments re-appear in spiritual life, even more perniciously than when you’re just out to make lots of money, buy cars, chase sex, and the like. Buddhists do seem very clear on this, too, because they know that “craving” is the source of all human pain and suffering.
    Hindus? I have no idea what they are clear on. It never seems like very much, frankly. The Vedantas, yes, because they are contemplatives focused on meditation and transcendence. The problem, in my view, starts with the Tantra devotees.

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