Hmmm…. Freedom, eh?
I swear. One of these days I’m just gonna rock up to a yoga class with this waste of some Indonesian child laborer’s time just to piss off every single yogini around me. There I’ll be, rolling out my excuse-me-this-is-my-spot Mandala Yoga Mat, while the sensitive yoga douche behind me turns his usual I-wanna-have-tantric-sex-with-you gaze into the ever popular you-are-so-unconscious stare (both look the same, mind you), so I can be all like, “Wha?! Back off, baby-daddy. I’m just expressing myself.”
It’s like, all you chumps using your mainstream “linear” “phallocentric” “rectangular” mats, forever reinforcing the dominant patriarchal paradigm, have got nothing on me and my over-sized circle mat. Didn’t you know? Circles are about the Divine Feminine. Circles are about “the circle of life.” Circles are forgiving. Circles are what we all are. So what, if I’m taking up roughly three times the space I would be had I brought my 200-lb piece of black Manduka slate? At least I’m not a militant baby-killing ashtangi.
And yet, there’s also something disturbingly entitled about this mat. I can’t quite place my finger on it.
I don’t know, maybe it has to do with how circles are so incompatible with one another. They just don’t like to get too close. I mean, were you aware that the circle, despite having all those wonderful “cyclical” qualities, was also a real jerk when it comes to playing nicely with others. Think about it. Would you rather get on the subway with a bunch of circles that create a shit-ton of unusable space…
…or rectangles that use only what it necessary to fit their sweet lil’ right-angled bodies?
Not to mention, this just looks really lonely….
And, kind of a bummer. Like, if I was practicing the Primary Series and saw this sad little chap practicing next to me, looking more like she was lost at sea, I’d probably break down and start crying.
That little dude is about to get her head kicked. I don’t care if she’s busting out a sick side stretch or not. Sucka better look out below, know whamean?
No? Here’s a video to give you an idea on how to actually use this giant thing. Minute 2:09 is particularly telling: