As you know, we’ve been more or less MIA for the past two-plus months. And, wouldn’t you know it, some things just don’t seem to change! Unless we’re talking about our good friend “YogaNation On Tour,” ’cause that shit is all sorts of revved up and ready to go.
1. NEW WEBSITE
Nothing says “Let’s rock!” like a brand new website. Out is the pink barf Pepto Bismol motif of yesteryear. In is the vegetarian diarrhea palate of yesterday morning after a drunken late-night threesome in a beer-flooded corner followed up by a double-order of diner grilled cheeses. Seriously. Who the fuck is working the Photoshop paint bucket? The same angry employee who put a dick on the cover of the Little Mermaid?
2. USE OF THE TERM “FAMILY”
Anyone within a hundred miles of *this* little scenario…
—that is, DTF having a megaphone placed anywhere within arm’s reach, which is essentially the same as giving cupcakes to a mouth-rotting sugar fiend—knows that Dana Flynn LOVES to use the word “family” when referring to, well…more or less anyone who can stand glitter. So, it should be no surprise to see this little word from a 72-hour rave twenty years ago popping up in the “YogaNation on Tour” verbiage. Nothing says “not-quite-subliminal cross-marketing” like tagging up the place with your own slogan.
3. DEREK BERES IS THE NEW DAVID REGELIN
And, finally this.
Taking the place of Mr. Grumpy Von Grumpy-pants (psst, that’s code for David Regelin) is everyone’s favorite yoga bro, Derek Beres, who also happens to be a pretty solid writer. Tell you what…. This is the one that almost got us to start writing again way back when it happened. Of course, we had to keep dousing our lingams with icy Ganga water just to calm down, but it was certainly tough to resist. But, we did. But, now here we are. Unfortunately, this Beres-on-Tour biz just is what it is. I guess the only thing to take from this is the knowledge that New Yorkers who move to LA become significantly less interesting the moment their once cool kicks hit the sweltering pavement.*
Oh yeah! And, this, my friend….
…is starting to look a lot like this….
Looks like The Ultimate Yogi has some new competish. Be sure to glove up, gentlemen.
*It’s worth noting that if you move to LA from any of the other fifty states, (with the exception of Alaska, Hawai’i, Washington, or Colorado) than doing so is an OK move. But, NYC to LA? Shiz is whack.