YogaNation is Happening!!!

Looks like it’s happening, kids! Starting in January of 2014 YogaNation and its band of yammering bobble heads will venture out into three cities NYers never think about: Chicago, Palm Springs, and Austin. Here’s yet another rehashed video to prove it:

The above video has gone through more renditions (uploaded, removed, uploaded, removed, etc.) than a Paula Deen apology video. This time around the producers have decided to take the safe route and not let any of these fruit loops open their trap, because every time they do, it’s like the world’s largest silent but deadly fart let loose all over the screen. I’ve heard more intelligent yoga banter from a broken garden gnome than these stale marshmallows.

And, seriously, what the fuck is going on with Sadie’s hair!?!?!?!

1233195_204436183050873_1791396429_o

Not to mention, did the design team for every health clinic brochure across America land this gig somehow?

MD0180101-F

GCH-11704_Outpatient_Brochure_proof med2

medical-brochure-design-13

Sadie, baby. This is some lame ass shit, even for you.

As for the rest of ya, we have a question: Do you ever wake up, look in the mirror, and ask yourself, “What the hell am I doing?” Wait, don’t answer that. I’m sure you do, and I’m sure the answer has something to do with living your truth. And then another Haitian baby angel loses its wings.

About these ads

33 comments

  1. Yoga_Dude

    Mula Bandha Flow? Sounds like a job for imodium!

  2. amphibi1yogini

    I don’t get it. What made them finally decide to open their traveling show up to all levels, and include students as well as teachers?

    Could it just be that they got tired of holding the retreats in Bali and teaching the restorative yoga or the easy vinyasa flows to the yoga tourists?

  3. the moment already came

    Wow, they just boiled that video down until there is no there there. The toast is getting real milque-y over at Yoganation.

    My favorite part of the site so far is Dana Flynn’s bio:
    http://www.yoganationontour.com/YN_instructors.html
    Each of the teachers has a rousing quote from a media source to affirm the high caliber of their teaching. Dana’s quote, from “Kripalu,” is a literal repetition of the first line of her bio…which is promo she sent to Kripalu, not something they said about her.

    I don’t know who their PR folks are, but I wouldn’t even hire them to draw a Thanksgiving hand-turkey for me.

  4. Emily

    So it’s a traveling yoga conference, with four teachers? Good job, Ava…

  5. Greenpoint

    the concept is insane, ergo for anyone to particpate would require them to be (or at least act) insane, so makes sense…and there should be NO touching of each other in the videos, supremely awkward and uncomfortable for the viewer (and Raghunath)….

  6. Yoga_Dude

    I see from their website that Raghunath and Faith are the ones getting sent to the western Chicago suburbs in Winter. I guess there is already a pecking order in place.

  7. Garuda

    These stupid workshops really PISS ME OFF

  8. Aren’t travelling road shows a bit passé? Wasn’t the last one that imploded Lilith Fair?

  9. Namastellen

    @themoment. PR is, but of course, Ava Taylor @YAMA.

    • Chai Fan

      If I had never done yoga and I saw that picture Sadie is using, I think it would turn me off and I would never want anything to do with it. Also, “Rock your world from the inside out” sounds like being encouraged to vomit.

    • The P

      Sadie is def gonna have to rethink the tongue/finger gesture thing now that Miley has made it so bad on so many levels. I flinch at even the suggestion of white lady tongue now – damn you, Miley!

  10. Linda

    Some of the worst production quality I’ve ever seen. The stock footage for each city shows things that are 1,000 times more fun than becoming part of “Yoga Nation.”

    Don’t waste money on airfare and hotel just to be locked up in a hotel with a bunch of neo-vegan wannabe hipster sheep – see what the city has to offer.

    Hell, if you’re going to go to Austin you’d have a better time visiting the Stevie Ray Vaughn statue in Zilker park and checking out the bands on Sixth Street than going to some lame yoga classes and a “yoga party” with some craptacular kirtan band/dj/Michael Franti knockoff bunch of jagoff performers.

    Chicago? Visit the Buckingham fountain, take an architecture boat tour and again, some great music can be found around the city. If you eat meat, you’ll be in hog heaven.

    Palm Springs? Golf? Is that all the footage they could find for free? Like Mark Twain said, It’s a good walk spoiled. Leave the 9-iron at home and hike in the desert. Maybe ride a horse with no name.

    The last time I checked, you can even visit a yoga studio (or several) in each of those cities. Better to support a local business than another corporate entity. Which raises an interesting question: Exactly how much business will the local studios lose when this medicine show comes to town?

    • Garuda

      “If you contrive it, some will pay”

    • Yep, it could go either way: the local studios lose the practitioners permanently, but not for a good reason (home self-sequenced practice and community outreach within the local community), but for all the bad ones – a surfeit of new yoga teachers created, camp followers (viz., this century’s answer to Deadheads), or they will permanently debark for the location of home studio of the pied pipers who visited their town …

  11. novecho

    I think you could get better comments from Dana Flynn’s Bio, than the whole Yoga Nation Tour. ‘ Dana and Co-Founder Jasmine Tarkeshi channeled over 6 years of organic movement experimentation ‘ Guess it didn’t work cause she’s still full of shit

  12. Ok, this is a bit late in the game, but did any one notice this:

    Be a YogaNation Karmi

    Our Staff assistants are made up of local yogis who are interested in a weekend of YogaNation! Gain invaluable work experience in the event industry while attending our exciting yoga event. As a Karmi, you will have the chance to see how a tour like YogaNation is constructed, and establish important contacts in the yoga world that will serve you for the duration of your career. Your duties will not cause you to miss any of the classes or workshops; you will instead be offered a remarkable opportunity to enrich your YOGANATION experience with practical hands-on training in industry-related skills. Get behind the scenes with us! Karmis must arrive by 2:00 pm on Friday.

    http://www.yoganationontour.com/friends.html

    Oh, and from the application to become a “Karmi”:

    NOTE* All applicants must be REGISTERED participants in order to be
    accepted for the YogaNation Karmi Crew. Please register early, as we do
    sell out! Must be over 16 years old and required to start working at 2pm on
    the Friday evening before the event.

    It seems like they are asking people to pay to work. Happy Labor Day!!

  13. Psychotubby

    Thank goodness David Regelin got outta there! I love him. I do. Not everyone is happyhappyjoyjoy, myself included.

  14. jorge

    I’m getting tire of seeing that haircut screaming at me every time I check to see if there’s a new blog yet. Can we get some new material soon please!?

  15. Greenpoint

    my kingdom (such as it is) for a new post!…

  16. the moment already came

    I don’t even have anything to say…I just feel like a dog wandering around looking for its favorite chew toy.

    Did you get stuck under my couch, Baba?

  17. the moment already came

    Come on, Baba! Where are you? Sadie Nardini is selling pantyhose now and Cameron Shayne is talking how cool it is to hump his students and the Baba signal hasn’t lit up in over a month.

    Should I be telling my kids you’re the hero Gotham deserves but not the one it needs right now?

  18. Hey, maybe (t)he’s(y’ve) decided either to do one of three things:

    1- Enter an ashram
    2- Infiltrate Cross-Fit (I understand a backlash is beginning to brew over there)
    3- Go to teacher training – just like YogaDork’s Jennilyn did …

    It happens to the best of ‘em

  19. jorge

    and yogaglo is gettin all stupid up in here too…

    http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/09/yogaglo-you-can-go/
    http://www.yogaglo.com/blog/2013/09/yogaglo-response-to-todays-news/

    please forgive me using elephant urinal as a source.

  20. the moment already came

    Hey, I don’t know if we’re allowed to sneak into the liquor cabinet while mom and dad are away, but you know, there’s really nothing stopping folks who are still hanging around from using the comment space here to make their own “posts.”

    For example, I wrote the following love letter to Cameron Shayne following this article:
    http://www.rebellesociety.com/2013/09/18/hot-sex-for-real-yogis-can-i-have-sex-with-my-yoga-teacher/

    This has all been a hoot, but I have to say my favorite part so far has been discovering that on his website, Cameron Shayne has given himself the ironic title of “Kancho.” In Japanese, Kancho is the word for a prank common among schoolchildren, in which you make a pretend gun out of your hands, sneak up on someone, and jab your fingers at their butthole as hard as you can. Which is sort of how I felt reading this article: it was painful for me, I bet Cameron felt pretty cool at first, but in the end we were both a bit embarrassed, and then we got to laugh about the whole thing.

    So listen, Kancho. You seem to be sitting atop a pretty big mountain of moral relativism here. I know, I know, like you said, you’re just speaking your truth. But let’s pause for a moment and consider that the notion of “your truth” is a bunch of sloppy nonsense. “Truth” literally means corresponding to objective fact or reality, a notion you explicitly deny: “All experience is subjective” or “[The] act of seeking outside one’s self for answers is folly.” What you have here are a bunch of opinions, dressed up in fancypants phrases like, “The guru is dead” and “There are no victims.” And you’re totally entitled to those. I personally find them hilarious to observe, and look forward to more of them; please subscribe me to your newsletter. And let me be perfectly clear: I’m all for you humping anyone, anywhere, anyway the two of you can agree upon. That’s the rich reward of the fact that we’re all big kids now. Never mind the fact your entire setup is predicated on the fact that in your classroom you’re the boss and you get to decide what is or is not for sale. Try working at Dunkin’ Donuts and every now and again asking a customer, “Would you like a BJ with that?” You’d lose your sprinkle privileges real fast over that.

    But here’s where you really lost me: you’ve pitched your tent on both sides of the field. On the one hand, you’ve made a striking number of normative claims about the nature of a common reality–really most of your article consists of statements about how the world is and how humans function. On the other, you’ve adopted this I-am-a-rock-I-am-an-island style of logic that implies no such common reality exists to any degree, and everyone’s experience is so radically subjective that none of us is qualified to assess the values of another. That itself is a huge claim about reality and a big assessment on values. It’s also a fortress of solitude wherein your privileged experience, “your truth,” is rendered conveniently untouchable by outsiders. When someone disagrees, they’re reacting or being dogmatic or “projecting,” a little piece of word-candy you can’t seem to stop sucking on.

    An alternate scenario would be that each of us, in our privileged but limited experience has unique but incomplete access to a reality we share to differing degrees. Within that experience, we can discuss and debate the validity of claims to truth, and in that context certain claims are indeed more or less valid based on their ability to more or less completely render a reality none of us can completely perceive individually. That’s precisely the value of seeking outside oneself for answers: by reflecting our own experience back to us through theirs, others can reveal aspects of ourselves we are blind to because of habit, proximity, or, let’s face it, plain ignorance. That’s what a guru, a teacher, a therapist, a friend, a lover, or a hobo on subway who says you look fat in those pants is good for. Oh, you’re still gonna have to do all the work, but it’s nice to have a heads up.

    In this scenario, your detractors are reflecting back to you the opinion that you’re wrong about a number of things. On the one hand, I don’t fault you for discounting the opinion of people who don’t know you. On the other, if your article is complete unto itself and as you say “most normal humans share the same mental, emotional and spiritual capacity to critically think,” then your readers actually possess everything required to make a potentially valid critique. You have defended this article simply as a statement of your experience. You have responded as if your awareness of yourself and your experience is always accurate beyond others’ observation. You have responded, in effect, by saying, “No one else a position to tell me I’m wrong about that.” I am responding by saying, “You’re wrong about that too, Kancho.”

    ….I might get such a spanking when Aghori gets home. I hope so.

  21. Oh, spank me TOO (and I absolutely HATE IT) …!

    A couple comments down, I wrote:

    If Sarah-John is a yoga teacher, I would not take any yoga from any sort of enabler–no matter how inexpensive or free. I am dreadfully sorry I ever had in the past (Not rampant sexuality, but in cases when guru syndrome corrupts the minds of yoga teachers.) There is a reason for a code of ethics in any helping profession. Or they have no right to call themselves “professionals”. This goes beyond rational thinking. It’s what’s known as “ethical thinking”.

  22. Zodiyack

    Yes, the YogaGlo patent and Cameron Shayne criticism is more important, but related to the original topic, I noticed a new faculty member:
    Derek Beres has now entered the YogaNation show tent.
    http://www.yoganationontour.com/derek.html

  23. Greenpoint

    Calgon take me away!….

  24. Nick

    Seriously, I miss you babs …. please post more brilliant stuff for me to read and not pay you for in any way.

Commentary....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 308 other followers

%d bloggers like this: