You know how guys who smoke cigars are automatically the worst people on the planet? Here’s a recent super-short Q&A with weight-loss yogini and “rockstar,” Sadie Nardini, who dishes out…well…something that maybe could be called digestable….
As far as I’ve ever seen, Yoganonymous is a quagmire of ridiculous web filler, so it’s really hard to tell when they’ve edited a piece to shambles, or pub’d something that hasn’t been eviscerated by the regurgitation sound-byte mill. As such, I can’t tell if this is a direct quote from our Lady, or some bastardization of such. As it stands, it’s pretty awesome.
And, I quote:
“I have my own LLC that’s worth half a million dollars a year. I respect myself. To fellow yoga teachers, I’d say, we are kind of gypsies by nature and I don’t expect the corporate world to understand that. “
So, let me get this straight. You’re LLC is a financial success and you respect yourself? What does that mean??? You’d like to tell yoga teachers that they’re all gypsies? Like, because you move around or because you are poor Romani people? Or, is it because yoga instructors are a very stereotypical group of people? And, why exactly won’t the corporate world understand this wisdom? What’s going on here??? This sounds like some sort of ideological catch-all trying to net as many readers as possible. I’m a wandering gypsie. I’m rich. I’m a mystic. I love myself. I laugh at the corporate world, but I have a Limited Liability Corporation.
Easy there, tiger. Just take a breath….
To be honest, following the way in which this quote gets across its message, which I’m guessing has something to do with being a commercial “rebel”?, makes me kinda giddy. Not, good-giddy, but that kind of giddy I get when I’m in the presence of some Boulder-ite Landmark graduate. You know the kind? Those super-posi actualizers of their own destiny, who first disassociate themselves from anyone who might get in the way of their personal success, and then couch the entire process in a slurry of “personal truths” and sustained eye contact.
Ah, but there’s more!
“Then we went to the cabana, drank mezcal, smoked a Cuban cigar and shaved my head. We’re the real world yoga couple, if you will. Being in the world and also not of it. The only way to roll.“
Hmmm…. “Be in the world, but not of it.” The earliest Christians said it. Wandering Muslim Sufis rock it. And now, this television personality proclaims it. Oh, and by “shave head” I think she’s referring to a tiny patch on the side. You know, like that twenty-year-old in Williamsburg busted out three years ago….
So, don’t go getting your hopes up that the mane came off.
Eh, but who am I to judge? Here’s two points I’m gonna make instead:
1. If you’re one of these yoga people who thinks that living an unhealthy lifestyle is antithetical to being a yoga practitioner, or that somehow getting the prerequisite amount of leafy greens is somehow related to “realization,” stop being an idiot. You’re way off. Yoga peeps far more intense than you are getting drunk and smoking cigarettes right now, indoors, in front of children, next to a burning pile of trash. Put that bowl of tasteless quinoa down, and learn yourself some knowledge.
2. But, being a social derelict does not a radical make. You can’t just practice yoga and go do Jager shots all night and expect someone like me, who might know a thing or two, to care a rat’s vagina about what you gotta say. You gotta show and prove, son. If you ain’t got anything dope to say, and your game is just a bunch of business wrapped up in a pretty little yoga facade, than you donning a three-years-too-late hairstyle and sucking down one of the most offensive smelling jaw-amputators known to douche bag dudes the world over ain’t gonna save you.
Stop frontin’ and be a person already. You’re f*ing boring.