[YOGA BLEACHING] Take These Oily Pills and Do Yoga Better

Now, I’ve been known to down a couple gulps of cod liver oil in my day. Makes me feel good, seems to help keep the poohs in order, and allows my skin to not be a scaly wreck. And yet, rarely do I think about yoga while the slimy lemony fishy goodness is slurping down my throat.

Cholecalciferol (AKA Vitamin D3). This is why I’m stronger than you.

That’s probably because I ain’t taking fish oil in the form of a pill. ‘Cause, if I was, “Pier Yoga”…

…(yoga done on a pier) would be all up in my mind’s grill. Just think about it. Getting those Omega D3’s into your decaying toxin-riddled system is hard enough on dry land. But, for those of us who live on a floating dock by the sea, it’s nearly impossible. It’s especially hard while trying to bust out a sick anjaneyasana.

Luckily, Nordic Essentials has got my back.

Ingredients: purified deep sea fish oil (from anchovies and sardines), soft gel capsule (gelatin, water, glycerin), natural lemon oil, vitamin D3 (cholecalciferol in sesame oil), d-alpha tocopherol, rosemary extract. No gluten, yeast, milk derivatives, or artificial colors or flavors. May contain traces of peanut and/or soy derivatives. Purified Fish Oil with Vitamin D3 for Immune Function and Bone Health*

Anchovies and sardines. Ahhh…. A true yogi’s diet! And it’s even more perfect. ‘Cause apparently…

“What’s essential to me is harnessing inner strength for outer beauty.”

And, that’s my whole game. Outer beauty.

____________________

yoga bleaching: 1. a form of marketing in which yoga or an image of yogic lifestyle is used to make an otherwise unrelated product appear to be in line with yogic principles. 2. the act of using yoga or an image of yogic lifestyle to sell an unrelated product. 3. a form of spin or marketing intended to deceive consumers into believing that a product is related to yogic practice or theory when in fact it is not.

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7 comments

  1. Yogically speaking

    The company promises “sustainability from boat to bottle”? Does this mean my yoga is “fresh frozen”?. I want my money back.

  2. Linda-Sama

    yoga bleaching reminds me of the movie The Magic Christian where at the end of the film, Guy Grand (Peter Sellers) “fills up a huge vat with urine, blood and animal excrement and adds to it thousands of bank notes. Attracting a crowd of onlookers by announcing “Free money!”, Grand successfully entices the city’s workers to recover the cash. The sequence concludes with many members of the crowd submerging themselves, in order to retrieve money that had sunk beneath the surface, as the song “Something In The Air” by Thunderclap Newman….” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Magic_Christian_%28film%29

    talk about something long enough and the sheeple will bite..kula, anyone?

  3. Thaddeus

    “sheeple”…I love it. I’m gonna use it. Hell, I might even try to sell it and give you an unreasonably low percentage of the profits. That’s cool, right? No, but seriously, I’m gonna use it.

  4. Yogically speaking

    It’s probably inevitable that a marketing initiative of this kind will lead to the emergence of something like “Sonic X Yoga”? Face it: there’s always a downside to ingesting something so “fishy”.

    “I can’t stand no girl
    Who smell like sushi
    Here go some advise
    Change your draws and
    Wash your coochie.

    Girl you stank, (Wash your ass)
    Girl you stank (Wash your ass)
    Girl you stank (Wash your ass)”

  5. Peggy Burgess

    So bleaching bad, douching good?

  6. Pingback: Making Bread from ‘Yoga’ Bread: The Triumph of Conceptual Marketing |

  7. Pingback: Making Bread from ‘Yoga’ Bread: The Triumph of Conceptual Marketing |

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