Doesn’t “Rockstar Yogi” Just Mean “Douchebag Yogi?” /// Punk Wins Again!

[WARNING: This post contains video footage of punk awesomeness. We recommend you watch each clip in the order presented, and not just skip it all. For many of you this will be completely new territory. Get some headphones, take a few minutes of your life, open up the ol' mind grapes, and enjoy.]

Hey. Stop me if you’ve heard this one:

Q: How many rockstar yogis does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
None. Rockstar yogis can’t change anything!

Har har har har har…. Haw haw haw haw…. Hehehehehe….

But seriously, what the hell is this??? Lately, there have been a number of blogs (specifically YogaDork and Bernadette Birney) posting rants on the so-called “rockstar yogi,” presumably in light of the upcoming “Rock Your Yoga” television silliness that’s about to yawn across America. It’s nice to see people holding the whole buffoonery to the coals a bit, but we’ve got to say that the biggest critique that can be hurled at all this happens to be just left of YogaDork’s piece on the matter. I mean, forget about yoga, people. Rockstars in and of themselves are just total douchebags! Didn’t you know that?! Like, straight up. I mean, like, calling yourself a “rockstar yogi” is like calling yourself a “douchebag yogi.” It’s weird. Even weirder than DNA performing “Blonde Red Head” while Basquiat graffitis awesomeness across NYC!

I mean, who the hell wants to pretend to be a rockstar? Especially when you can pretend to be James Chance & The Contortions!

Now that’s some dope punk NYC style! I once had the exquisite pleasure of dancing to 60s soul music for five hours straight next to this man. Most of the records were his, and he’s still a freak footed magician of cool!

If, like me, you grew up cutting your teeth on punk fanzines and 7″s, than you know what I’m getting at. Rockstars are the windbags of music. Rockstars are elitist fakes and the butt of all funny jokes. F– that! To the independent musician–to the punk kid–rockstars are the frickin’ joke!

Not like Suicide singing “Ghost Rider.” I can’t imagine Alan Vega even telling a joke!

The fact is, rockstars are entirely commercial. They’re the pawns of image factories. They’re vacant. They’re empty. They’re non-threatening.

And yet, like some poetic just desserts, it comes as no surprise that the so-called “rockstar yogi” is almost always found working within the most commercial aspects of yoga culture, themselves media-obsessed personalities. As such, what can they possibly offer us that Fugazi hasn’t already provided in a single live version of “Waiting Room” circa 1988? Now this is some community!

So, if you’re one of those out there all bent out of shape on becoming a “rockstar yogi,” please don’t take it personally if we never buy any of your records.

____________________

This message has been brought to you by “Meaningless Rockstar Yogi Mudras” as performed by the very hot Bret Michaels of Poison. I mean, come on…. Look at that mouth!

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23 comments

  1. amphibi1yogini

    Please don’t give the Sadie Nardini’s PunK Rock yoga TT grads any playlist ideas, especially Suicide … they don’t need your help …

    • Marcella Bucci

      Amen to what amphibi1yogini said. Sadie and her “Rock Star Yoga” rant is one of the most sickening things I’ve ever seen in the Yoga world. And I’ve seen Bikram in person…

  2. Greenpoint

    well that was fun, especially Fugazi, thanks…

  3. JJ Love

    tears in my eyes watching fugazi – yes sat sangha – SAT

  4. Jen C.

    My thoughts exactly. Sadie Nardini is the equivalent of a Motley Crue ampitheater concert complete with spandex and pyrotechnics. All theatrics, no substance. Fun to look at while intoxicated, but I’ll wake up feeling dirty and ashamed tomorrow.

  5. I don’t mind people with large egos, as long as their egos aren’t over-sized relative to their talents. I deal with a lot of supremely confident people, both in a professional setting and in some sports that I partake in. I’ve found first (or second, or third) impressions can often be misleading. Often people I pigeon-hole as ‘arrogant’ are just not great people-persons so they don’t sell themselves well but in fact they don’t have a sense of entitlement or superiority. Others who I thought loved themselves and life turned out to just be faking and actually quite insecure and tried to hide it with fake confidence. I talked a little about this on my (brand spanking new) blog, so I’m going to be self-serving and advertise:

    http://7thseriesgongshow.blogspot.ca/2012/05/besting-mind-killer.html

  6. Earth Energy Reader

    Fugazi!!!!! Dude! throw in some Black Flag too if you can!

  7. Greenpoint

    it’s just NOT funny…period…really, really bad writing…

  8. DeDee

    “The fact is, rockstars are entirely commercial. They’re the pawns of image factories. They’re vacant. They’re empty.” Rockstar Yogi’s indeed……I find the label entirely appropriate.

  9. amphibi1yogini

    Video is a lot of jargon. Bleccch! Makes it seem like a secret society, er, cult …
    I’d got enough of that effect just going to a regular yoga studio … as a beginner there, I’d felt unwelcome.

    Maybe that’s probably what they were going for …

  10. Yoga_Muff Diver

    Fake yogis making fun of fake yogis – well said, Greenpoint. I literally ralphed, tossed my cookies – actually pizza – half way through this tape. It was worse than having to watch Mitt Romney shout “Who Let the Dogs Out! Who Who” to a group of bewildered Black teenagers at an MLK day parade a few years ago. That was just sad and lame. This was like stoned and stupid hippies laughing over the massacre at Jonestown.

  11. yogi dissent

    unless they’re actually punk-rock band singers who also happen to be yogis, fyi. scroll down through the link: http://www.raghunath.org/my-story.html

    not all yogis are rockstars, not all rockstars are douchebags, not all rockstar yogis are douchebags. if you’re going to make commentary in a timely/relevant way on something that’s important to the community, do your research, or hold back on your broad generalizations. its cheap and lazy.

    • Well, it is cheap, in that we pay nothing nor get paid nothing to do it. But it’s certainly not lazy! Also, as much as I love YOT and Shelter, I’d hardly call Ragu “punk rock.” That really wasn’t how he came across back in the day. His scene was a bit more “jock (punk) rock” at that time. Of course, depending on your vantage point. You kinda had to be there or know people who were. In any case, he’s got what people call a “sick (as in awesome) practice.” Always been a fair chap to people I know.

    • yogs_muff diver

      It seems that Baba-Ganesh left out PUNK rock star yogi douche bags? JAMA JAMA HEY.!!

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